Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize