Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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