You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
