Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
