I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So many bounce houses so little time
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
