Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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