Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I puked a lego.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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