It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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