guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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