dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
