another moral hangover. fuck.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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