hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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