i used baking grease as lip gloss
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
