Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
