Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
