I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
as a side note pls kill me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
