3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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