just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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