At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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