I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
