Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
