Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize