i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
