who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
