So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
