i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
