living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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