i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
