with your own penis?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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