hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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