Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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