theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
