In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
