There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
