sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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