If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
