honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Me too!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
