so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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