think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We are all done wearing pants today
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
