woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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