also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize