these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
