If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
