Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
