I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize