You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
