she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
