I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
