they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
