when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
