I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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