I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just invented taco cereal.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
