You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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