After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize