No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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