College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
