Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
