Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
