the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
When are your genitals available?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
