so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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