she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
