so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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