can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize