A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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