You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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