this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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