he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
