and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
