Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
