Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
NoShamevember. You game?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize