Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
