One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
