Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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