umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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