How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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