Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Small penises have feelings too.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
