No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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