Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize