life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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